Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
