Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize