Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
