This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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