I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
