Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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