I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want her autograph on my taint
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
