I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
