i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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