but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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