Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
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We named our party play list daddy issues
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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