I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
