I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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