Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
