yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
