none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
