so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
