I am spending my child support on dildos
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
