I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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