just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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