I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
