Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
