Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
