I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm at about main and main street
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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