i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
