There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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