it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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