i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
