Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm passing your future prison.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
