my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
