just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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