I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You may now shotgun with the bride
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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