uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
