but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
