So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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