if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
