Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
