dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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