All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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