ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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