I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
