I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
