He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
