walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just high enough for therapy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
