we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
