He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
