i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
