as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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