worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad