There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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