I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar