I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.