How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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