16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
