problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
