weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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