I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
