So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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