Where is the hickey?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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