One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
