Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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