I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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