yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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