I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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